Dear Beautiful Evan

It's 4:30am in the morning and I can't sleep. I can't stop thinking about dear, beautiful Evan. Evan is our Stake President's son (our Stake President when we were in Florida). My good friend, Amber, used to watch Evan on Tuesday morning's while his mom taught Joy school. When Amber started taking her daughter, Reese, to speech therapy, I was able to fill in for her. Evan and Amber's daughter, Ivy, spent one hour with us every Tuesday morning for a few short weeks. This was a wonderful blessing for me. It was back in February when I was struggling and felt very alone. I was glad to have their company and glad to have an excuse to see Amber (although I know she would've come over every day if I'd asked her to). It's so interesting the ways that God finds to help us out. I'm sure Amber thought she was 'inconveniencing' me. I'm just so grateful she was around.

Dear Evan drowned on Sunday night. He was a little older than Bryson. He was called home. I know he's feeling peace and happiness. I can see his face right now, smiling and laughing. He was a big boy, able to stuff half a sandwhich in his mouth at once. He was so sweet and I'm so glad I got to care for him for a little while.

I wish I could be there. I wish I could comfort... someone. I know that God will find ways to help those in need - probably ways we wouldn't think about. I'm so thankful for my beautiful children and that God has allowed me to hug and kiss them a little while longer.

I'm really not sure if I should publish this post... but I suppose I will anyway. I think I just need to get it out of my system so I'll stop crying and go to sleep... Please, God, bless Evan's family and all his friends and all those involved. Please comfort them and be with them...