Just Eat It!

Antibiotics are our friends. That's what I've tried to tell Bowen but he thinks they're secretly poison... just like peas, carrots, and basically anything that contains essential vitamins and minerals. So, I snuck 2 T. of his liquid antibiotic into his juice. He took one little sip, pulled it away, looked at is inquisitively and said "Hey". That was his first clue-in that I was trying to poison him. So now he's suspicious. Still being optimistic I crushed up a pill this time and mixed it in with his yogurt. I handed it to him and he stared at it ... and stared at it... and stared at it long enough to notice the tiny little specs of white in it. Ah ha, poison discovered. No yogurt tonight. And probably not for the next 3 days. Ok, fine, how about some icecream? Nope, sorry mom, I can't except any more food from you tonight seeing as there is very suspicious activities going on. (I forgot to mention that before the icecream, Bowen started to pick up his noodles one by one and examine them for foriegn agents. Most of them he decided were not contaminated and ate them thank goodness). He eventually did eat his icecream and I have been able to sneak suspicious white specs into his oatmeal. Momma's gettin' good.

New Pet Peeve

My new pet peeve is when I go back and read an old post of mine and see simple 'You're Evidently NOT Smarter Than a 5th Grader' spelling errors that I made. I'm pet-peeved at myself for such violations of common education.

The 'Super Bug'

Have you heard of MRSA? Well, we in this household have all recently been intimately educated. More specifically, Bowen. It all started with a little bug bite about an inch under his belly button. I thought "Oh great, you got ants in your pants" (in Florida that's not just a funny little rhyme. It's more like... a serious problem). And then the bump started to grow and I decided it was more likely caused by Mr. Spidey who I continue to attest is real and not just a recurring hallucination caused by my serious arachnidphobia. So then it was just a waiting game to see when he'd turn into Spiderman. But then it really started to grow into what you might call a small crater. At this point I had ruled out ants, spiders, and vampires. I had exhausted all my medical knowledge base. Of course Bryan knew all along it was just an abscess caused most likely by some evil bacteria which eventually led to the need for professional medical intervention. It's always a treat to go to the clinic. Bowen loves to be poked and prodded. Oh wait, no, that would be his alter ego. Sometimes I get them mixed up. The real Bo feels like being touched by any person holding a funny instrument is a violation of the utmost molestation. So here we have 4 adults straining to hold an irate 3 yr old down while the Doctor drains the vampire venom out of this now 'huge' owy. But the part when I started to wonder if I was in the movie "I Am Legend" was when I noticed that all the adults had on not just latex gloves but full on mouth guards and head shields. That's when I realized two things... that I was either a) going to be the soul survivor of a world-wide epidemic and my lack of survivor skills and coping skills would lead to the downfall of the human race or b) I was his mother... most likely already infected (hence why I was not offered my own set of armor) and they were secretly inserting a microchip to document his incumbent demise before shipping us both off to a Quarantined Gov't facility... aka: the Big Bubble. Come to find out it wasn't that serious and his condition was treatable. The worst part about it would be trying to get him to injest antibiotics (that's good enough for a whole nother post). And life goes on. Which reminds me... when the heck is there going to be a new Gossip Girl?

* 'Made up words' for this post include 'shieldery' and 'nother' unless I'm mistaken and they both happen to be legitimate English.

BLOG BOYCOTT

I've been on a blog boycott lately. I've posted a few thoughts here and there but nothin' with any substance. No pics of the kids, totally skipped Christmas and New Years. Why? Because Bryan's been in Jacksonville for his ICU rotation and while he's been gone I've completely lost my mind. I almost hopped on a plane to Grandma's house but knew I would've gone into mental shock the first time Bowen through one of his fits and then I would've been stuck in a mental institution in Utah. How do you survive something like this? I did what any normal, insane mother would do. I held a gun to Regi's head and made her watch my kids while I ran off to Jacksonville to spend the night with Bryan. Life is good again. A full 24 hrs. without crying... that is until the drive home when I got a speeding ticket. I mean, I am a mother of 2... I will never be 'completely' stable.

The joy of blogging returns. ( :

Another Product Endorsement

The Vidalia Chop Wizard. This may very well be my favorite kitchen utinsel/appliance... whatever it is. I can literally chop or dice an entire onion in under 30 seconds. AND... I tried celery the other day and it was just as amazing. I'm too lazy to post the picture so here's the link to my wishlist.
Trust me... you want it! Worth every penny!

The Swivel Sweeper!

Ah ha! I've had an inquest about the swivel sweeper. This little, slightly overpriced, as seen on TV appliance is used more than any other appliance that I own. I'm inclined to buy 3 more just for backups. The swivel action is surprisingly flexible. It's like a little gymnast that can move and bend in everywhich way possible. I can literally vacuum under a dresser that is no more than 2 inches off the ground. The voltage is quite impressive. 6 volts, I believe? Lets just say if you ever happen to spill a handful of bolts on the ground and don't feel like picking them up........
Also, if there's a crumb sitting directly next to the wall, leaning against (if you will), will a real vacuum pick it up? No no! But Mr. Swivel is ever reaching. He has this magnetism that I'm always impressed with for sucking in 'against the wall' crumbs. On another note, Bowen is much a friend of Mr. Swivel. He pretty much vacuums for me everyday. The process is enjoyable. He is lightweight, cordless (rechargeable battery) and that is that. All of my friends have one. In fact, you can't be my friend unless you pick Edward over Jacob AND you have a swivel sweeper. ( ;

Poop!

We do not live in a poop free world. Poop is a necessary contamination that must be contained. Bryson feels otherwise. Note to self... babies must have diapers on at all times. The routine is this... eat, make a mess, plaster peaches and meatloaf in hair, through all remaining ingredients on floor, diaper off, straight to tub, splish splash. On a day such as this we had a 'blip' in the matrix that altered our routine. Not a big blip, just a simple 'wipe up a few chunks of peaches' before putting baby in tub. Well, diaperless Bryson couldn't resist this heavenly window of freedom and in less than 30 seconds proceeded to leave a walking trail of poo to Bowen's bedroom, on a few toys, and back to the kitchen to show me how happy he was about his accomplishment. Can you imagine the shock and horror of wondering all the places that fresh hidden feces could be? I was down on my hands and knees sniffin' (jk) and scrubbin' like there was no untouched surface. Our fabulous hunter green (yet with a hint of tiel) carpet hid everything. It was very scary. I'm sure to have recurring nightmares.

CURRENTLYS

Favorite Catalog (currently): Greatest Shame (currently):

Latest Boycott (currently & temporary): E-mail
Worst Pet Peeve (currently & longstanding): Talking about how other people should raise their kids.
Favorite Song (currently & deeply): "Keep Breathing" by Ingrid Michaelson
Greatest OCD (currently and getting worse): Tidying, cleaning, and organizing.

Favorite Ever Appliance (currently and not toppable): Swivel Sweeper Who I think is the best dressed (currently): Stacy LondonMost pleasant experience (currently today): Watching Bowen fall asleep for his nap.
Mood (currently): confused, scattered
Weirdest Dream (once & never again): Simon Cowell wanted to date me.

The Bucket List

Saw this movie last week.
5 stars!

Persuasion to Gossip Girl

I just watched 'Persuasion' on PBS... Apart of the the Big Jane Event. This is the second version of this story that I've seen and I am twice 'somewhat' unimpressed (I can't commit to being 'fully' unimpressed). The story is utterly fantastic but would somebody please make a modern, hollywoodistic version with attractive actors that win Emmys and that I actually know the names of? I know that sounds really uncultured-istic and un-British. But did you see that kissing scene? Horrid!

Next week... Northanger Abby!

Interestingly, right after that I watched (out of pure shameful curiosity)... 'Gossip Girl'. I went from, "Hi, I want to marry you now let's kiss for the first time" to "Thank Heavens I'm not pregnant. Both Chuck and Tony will be relieved. I mean, I am only 17". Let me tell you... that is a HORRIBLE HORRIBLE show. (but I cannot guarantee I won't watch it again... stupid addictive evil shows). On that note... this never would've happened if I wasn't a single mother of two this month. I miss you, Bryan. Keep those patients alive. (Jacksonville ICU rotation).

Jane Austen Marathon

A Jane Austen Marathon??? I'm so there!!! Beginning tomorrow on PBS and continuing every Sunday night for the next 4 months. Check out their Press Release!

Go Mitt!

Yes, this would be a post somewhat po-litical in nature. I am using my inalienable right to express my uninvited-or-not opinion. I've decided, "Enough hashing over the 'Jacob vs Edward' debate... time for more weightier matters". Bryan and I did find ourselves on his website which led to about an hour and a half of interview watching which led to a resolve to join Team Mitt. Who's with me?

"We believe that every single human being is a child of God – we are all part of the human family. The conviction of the inherent and inalienable worth of every life is still the most revolutionary political proposition ever advanced. John Adams put it that we are 'thrown into the world all equal and alike.'

- Governor Mitt Romney's "Faith In America" Address Thursday, Dec 06, 2007

Join Team Mitt.

Isn't That What January's For?

'TWAS THE MONTH AFTER CHRISTMAS

'Twas the month after Christmas,and all through the house
Nothing would fit me, not even a blouse
The cookies I'd nibble, the eggnog I'd taste
All the holiday parties had gone to my waist,
When I got on the scales, there arose such a number!
When I walked to the store (less a walk than a lumber).
I'd remember the marvelous meals I'd prepared;
The gravies and sauces and beef nicely rared...
The wine and the rumballs, the bread and the cheese
And the way I'd never said, "No thank you, please."
As I dressed myself in my husband's old shirt
And prepared once again to battle the dirt...
I said to myself, as I only can
"You can't spend a winter dressed like a man!"
So...away with the last of the sour cream dip,
Get rid of the fruit cake, every cracker and chip.
Every last bit of food that I like must be banished.
'Till all the additional ounces have vanished.
I won't have a cookie, not even a lick,
I'll want only to chew on a long celery stick.
I won't have hot biscuits, or cornbread or pie,
I'll munch on a carrot and quietly cry.
I'm hungry, I'm lonesome, and life is a bore...
But isn't that what January is for?
Unable to giggle, no longer a riot
HAPPY NEW YEAR TO ALL AND TO ALL A GOOD DIET!

Written by Colin and Sandy

I Have To Admit

I have to add "Twilight" to my "3 things to remember in '07" list. (Thus making it 4, I guess.) .  It did affect a good 2 months out of the year so I believe it deserves a spot.  Amb will be glad to know I'm admitting this.  She'll also wonder where the heck the name 'Amb' came from.  It's a new year, baby!